Queen Elizabeth was right.

Months passed. November came, December came. The trees no longer carry any of their leaves. The golden autumn days all faded. And when they left, the emptiness.

Christmas decoration gets put up as every year. Somehow their lights seem to shine a little less bright this year. Watching through windows and seeing people coming together in their living rooms doesn't bring up joy this year. Instead there is the feeling of a lump in my throat. And with it a slight wave of jealousy.

"Christmas can be hard for those who have lost loved ones," Queen Elizabeth said in her last Christmas broadcast in 2021. "Especially this year, I understand why."

When everyone celebrates the festive season of love, some seats stay empty for the first time. Grief has now taken up that space instead. You'll realize that things have changed since you last decorated the christmas tree. You are allowed to miss and grief a little extra in these days.

Next year hopefully feels different again as it will get better. Getting better doesn't mean forgetting. It simply means learning to carry the ache without letting it crush you. The lights will shine brighter again. You'll celebrate again and keep up traditions for them.

Let this be your reminder to check in on your loved ones during this time. Sometimes a "tell me about them" helps more, than desperately trying to distract them.

Whether christmas feels light or heavy this year I hope you'll find some peace along it.